i am not a seventeenth-century prude. i am not concerned about your damnation. but please do not tell me about all of your sexual pursuits and conquests like you are a conquistador. do not hint at them incessantly like a cartographer. i am not certain whether i do not envy your stories, but i am surely certain that they are not currency. you are not buying any clout.

you should still give a fuck about what your grandmother would think.

humility is nice, every once in awhile.