Linus is an everpresent obstacle to typing. This is why i am a rare blogging commodity anymore.

Sometimes i struggle through the cat/lap adversity, because i feel that documentation has a high degree of importance, in work and in lifes, even pathetic lifes.

Tonight i witnessed the movie Zodiac with The Thomas. The Thomas made sure that we had at least one empty seat betwixt us, which is a quaint reminder of days long past when us dudes made sure we had a seat emptied between us, whereas whenever i happen to go to movies with friends anymore, we seem to forget about the fear of being perceived as being more intimate than we really are, which strangers might happen to opine, about folks who are three rows up, to the right, thru the darkness of a theatre. Usually, gaps do not facilitate the sharing of popcorn, but then again, i no longer buy popcorn, because even though i am spoiled and i am a spoiler, i cannot bear to pay eight dollars for a medium bagfull of corn product that is probably not even made by Orville Redenbocker, or however you spell that dude’s name.

Anyways. The movie had scary parts. I do not cope with scary parts very well anymore, if i even ever did. Scary parts are the parts that i qualify as a scene with mass evil, like murder and despicable acts against innocent people, which are either gruesome, or whether i can imagine as being gruesome, and evil + gruesome = tim having a panic attack in a public place, and even if the evil + gruesome = fiction, with enough frequency and amplitude, tim will still attain levels which are required for panic attacks.

This is part of the reason why i hate evil, and i am a bastion for all that is good in the world. I am like a care bear, in human form. I would prefer to be the care bear with the shamrock on his belly, rather than the one with the rainbow, because i prefer the more masculine connotations, and also i dig green.

I used to have a care bear. And a cabbage patch kid. These are things that one never admits, except on blogs where hopefully no one is reading. Perhaps i should admit these details only in cipher.

Side-by-side with my care bear and cabbage patch doll, though, i was staging massive wars of gee eye joes, and transformers, and evil decepticons, and skeletor versus he-man, and somewhere in my pile of toys was a plush alley cat (kat?) which looked exactly like Linus, twenty years before Linus was even borned.

One thing about my former inner boy: there was no intermingling of sets – no gee eye joes with he-men, no he-men with transformers, but perhaps a few transformers with the go-bots, which were shoddily fabricated.

Zodiac was really well done except for the scary evil parts, which were too well made.

–

Tangents are good.

I also saw ’300′ a few nights ago, which i thought was awesome, and i might even have to say awwwesome! It is not cool at all, to enjoy a movie like ’300′, if you are constantly being embraced by the legions of intellectually elite, like i am, but my chromosome which enjoys completely unsubtle epicals about heroes and glory and sacrifice just refuses to jade. It is un-jade-able, especially when these epicals are set in historical times. Awwesome! Even the heroes are portrayed as brutal, which is accurate.

I was thinking that all of humanity was once unbelievably brutal, and evil, and they were all murderers and conquerors, and that is humanity’s only reason for surviving through the present, and only in the last millennium has there started to be a transition towards philanthropy and liberalism and neighborliness, and maybe it will take another millennium or three to really latch onto those beefy chromosomes, who knows. It was only a half-thought that i’d had.

I have no plans to see anymore movies, maybe Ever. Except for Cool Hand Luke, which i need to see soon, because Paul Newman is the fucking coolest dude ever.

-

Today was my grandmother’s birthday. I talked to her on the phone yesterday. She sounds good, despite a wicked fall in the middle of the night, two nights ago, on her head, in a bad way. But yesterday she had a bloodstream full of prednisone, she was a bit hyperactive, and described her mood as: “Tim, I think I’m high on drugs.” She was quicker on the conversational draw than i was, for sure, but then again who isn’t?

-

In April i will be going to Red Deer, Alberta. I will be going as a field service engineer, just like it was 2004, or 2003, or the few years even before that. I am looking forward to it, because i liked that job, except for the incessant and mind-unabling traveling. Sometimes i think about going back to do that job full-time, but i know that it’s a stupid idea, but then again, working in an office forever is also a stupid idea, but then again, working at all is just a stupid idea.

If i could do it all over again, i would have been a scientist, and i would work nightshifts at observatories, on the tops of mountains, with large, liquid-nitrogen-cooled telescopes, and things. I would have an altar to Carl Sagan, and i would keep my cupboards stocked with his favourite brand of pot, whatever that was. Though i would never be enticed to utilize it, claiming that it “makes me so goddamn paranoid…”

I am tired and this is partly why i am incoherent. I apologize for the incoherency, but it happens to be the only time i find to document myself. I promise to focus on one weird topic, and stick to that one weird topic, on some future entry.

Your friend,
-Tim.

Hey, hello.

I am still existent. Barely getting by, subsisting on white russians and steamed vegetables.

A couple of weeks ago, i had sauteed brussels sprouts with sliced apples. It was weird, but the effect was that i was able to survive for another evening. Plus, it comes highly recommended by Epicurious. Or some shit. Tally another for the Thirtysomething!

I have been re-digitizing my entire music collection, onto an array of teenage-girl-backpack-purse-sized hard drive devices, with cute little blue lights. I have a lot of music, because all that i ever do is listen to music, of course. So it is taking a long time. I am only up to Tori Amos. So i have been listening to and re-pirating lots of Tori Amos. It is like it is 1995 again, except i am not blushing at all of the allusions to masturbation this time. Or maybe i am. “If you know me so well, tell me which hand i use” and whatever.

Part of what has prompted me to take on such an arduous and nerdy task is my brand new jet-black iPod, which under normal circumstances, i would have owned since 1998. (I am fond of new weird gadgetry, especially if they have something to do with musics.) But somehow i did not buy an iPod before anyone else had even heard of them. Instead, i have become one of the last 5% of civilization to cave into its overwhelming capitalistastic powers. Which can probably misconstrued as evidence of my communist agenda.

Anyway, life is better with an iPod, it is true. It is all true.

Last month there was a long weekend in Richmond. This is a geographical location where the phantom of Anastasia Nikolaevna has been known to visit Tori Amos, as a matter of fact. I get no such metaphysical interactions, but i do ponder wielding the Flame of Anor, in case of possible encounters with the phantom of Yakov Yurovsky, who is eternally deserving of the dark washes of Utumno, forever.

Richmond was sunny, nice for the taking of pictures with old- and new-style cameras. We saw Lisa. We saw Matt. There was too much driving involved.

Now i am back, and unable to leave the country again until i have a legal work permit, to replace the one which expired at the beginning of March. Perhaps i will be evaluated as a waste of Canadian space, and will be deported. Which would require me to once again exhume my gigantic handkerchief, into which all of possessions would go, and tie the bundle to my supermajestic hobo stick, and there i would go, hitting the road, looking downtrodden, all the way to the Peace Bridge, past the city which denied me any potential of obtaining Sabres playoff tickets, looking more downtrodden, getting rained upon through the forests of Pennsylvania, dropping off a resignation in New Jersey, finding an abandoned barn in Maryland to stow my large knapsack, boarding a vessel in the Chesapeake bound for Novaya Zemlya, where my calligraphy ninjitsu would surely benefit from the landscape, which probably lends itself to focusing intensely on arts and crafts.

I need to go for now.

Bye, -Tim.

He will kick you apart.

I hope you haven’t seen this thirty times already. I am so bad at knowing what is already popular and secondhand on the internets, anymore.