so, umm… do we look too shady to get into canada?

Hi Everybody,
It’s me, Britney. (Really… it is!)

p.s. drink Pepsi, it’s my fave! ; )

hello consumer hello consumer
hello consumerhello consumer

hello consumer
hello consumer
hello consumer
we’re throwing our lines
in
to th
e trends you
like to
fu
ck the most
fuck fuck fuck
fuck it you
pretty pretty consumer
fuck it
fuck your trend til it’s pulp
til it’s pulp fuck it
and share your greenest passions
your
gr
eenest pass
ions share fuck
fuck us
us too
share you
r green fu
cking passio
ns passion us
passio
n us too we
love yo
u too consumer prett
y consumer
pretty consumer you consumer you consumer pre
tty consumer you
.
(

o painted past! o holy holy desolate!
come here to prune my skull,
snap off the unsightly horns,
let devils flee this place where my bones will live,
one day too soon,
too soon.
the cynics so cryptic in their need for proof,
name-calling and magnesium flashes
too soon their frustration cripples them
their interferences face an untranslatable determination
on a mission to just live
come what may we will live
and by the by what remains
is everything they promised was vacant
o to be alive!
if virtue be this kind to heal our pasts
may we ignite the promises
and inhale the smoke
and so may we float so gently backwards
forwards and between
every great expectation and impossible ideal
just allowed to live
even if on limbs or solid ground
in flight or on fire.

do you know who plays very nice songs?

Low does. Low plays very nice songs. Low really plays very nice songs. really a lot.

i’ve known this a long time, yeah, but i don’t say it out loud much.

okbye .

well cowboy dan’s a major player
in the cowboy scene
he goes to the reservation
drinks and gets mean
he’s gonna start a war
and he hops in his pickup
puts the peddle to the floor
says “i got mine
but i want more”
cause cowboy dan’s a major player
in the cowboy scene
he goes to the reservation
drinks and gets mean
he goes to the desert
fires his rifle in the sky
says “God if i have to die
you will have to die”
because cowboy dan’s a major player
in the cowboy scene
he goes to the reservation
drinks and gets mean
he goes to the desert again
“i didn’t move to the city
the city moved to me
and i want out
desperately”

standing in the tall grass, thinking nothing .

one recurring memory is the thing about the rock in my forehead and another is the one about crying to go home from the boy’s house (the one who threw the rock.)

there was thhe picture I had here before of the backyard and the trees and the ravine (wishing well), and i was standing just south of the ravine in the trees. he was down inside it and we were angry and he had the advantage because there were a lot more rocks where he was. i can’t remember how long it went on for. he found a really good piece of jagged granite, i think it was. i remember just staring at it as it flew way up into the air and so slowly got tired with the gravity and curved downward and i was just staring at it. we had thrown all these rocks with no results, two against two, except that my younger brother was just scared and panicked and four years old and not really helping to throw any rocks at all.

and this rock was on its way down and i was staring at it. it was going so so slowly and then it smashed into my forehead and i had fallen down. there wasn’t really any pain i just felt the blow. i didn’t start crying until the blood started flowing over my eyes. and in my eyes. i was six and everything i looked at was tainted shades of red, which seems pretty cool in retrospect, but it was really frightening and maybe i thought i was going to die.

i couldn’t really see to get back to my grandparent’s house. i was fumbling through lawns and bawling loudly. must have been very loudly and i remember pants moving very quickly and a man running towards me. i could only see the red-tinted pants and shoes. they picked me up and we started running and i was crying very loudly. we ran over the lawn and over the concrete bridge and over the last lawn into the big house.

i was on the couch with ice packs in my head. my mom was just pissed. when she found out about the rocks and she was just very angry. there was no pity at all. my younger brother was very observant. he must have been taking notes. he had the course of events all laid out for her. i was ordered to apologize.

i remember looking in the mirror at one point and being amazed at the crater in my forehead. and thinking it was deeper than flesh was thick, from surface to skull.

anyway, the boy who threw the rock and i got to be pretty good friends.

there were a bunch of us going for a sleep over for his birthday. he and his twin sister. the subject of twins is what made me remember all of this. because adam foote from the colorado avalanche apparently has a twin sister and i was watching this hockey game and that’s what made me think of it all.

so there were all these little girls and little boys, and i had no interest in being there. and a girl i knew was crying her eyes out until her mom came and picked her up and she didn’t have to sleep over. and i thought that seemed like a good idea so i started crying my eyes out and everyone was asking what’s wrong and somehow i managed for my mom to be called and they let me play superman on atari while they all watched a movie. i was playing superman forever, it seemed like, before my mom showed up. she was really angry again. really pissed off that i wanted to go home. i wasn’t crying by then, just sniffly and puffy red faced. it was pretty good for a hoax but it only started off as a hoax. i think a lot of the feeling became real, somehow.

there really wasn’t much of a point to this. just i’d like to write down recurring memories that i have. and also i’m kind of bored.

bye.