Humidity

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Originally uploaded by amnesoid.

Yesterday, i came home. I do that almost every night. When i get home, i need to pet Linus thirty-thousand times, or else he will pester me mercilessly.

As i petted Linus yesterday, we gave each other ninety-six uncomfortable static shocks.

Then i got all scientific. I put two huge pots of water on the stove and boiled them. I wasn't even cooking anything. I was just boiling water, cos. That's short for 'cousin', probably.

The static shocks went away. It was brilliant, and i don't pay the electricity bill either. They call the electric bill the 'hydro bill' here. Whatever!

I have decided to leave the pots of water on for the remainder of the winter, and leave them boiling 24 hours per day, 7 days per week.

Soon, though, i discovered that there was a sludge film that remained after most of the water had evaporated. Apparently, my publicly supplied water is very disgusting and teeming with filth. I began to think that if i were not present, and the pots of water boiled all of the water out and there was no water left, then the filth would become encrusted onto the insides of my valueable pots, which i use for things other than humidity, like linguini, and elaborate sauces.

That would be a terrible circumstance.

Anyway, that's all i gots.