Neptune

Everyone forgot to congratulate Neptune.

Now, Neptune is eighth, and last. Again, in a solar system completely free of scrubs.

No scrubs.

Someday i am going to live on the lower east side of Neptune. I will be the planet's first lighthouse keeper. Even though there are no oceans or ships or shipcaptains on Neptune, and even though there are no rocky shores for vessels to crash upon, on Neptune, i will still be Neptune's first lighthouse keeper, mostly because i would like to be first at something, and more than that, i would like to be first at something upon the eighth and last planet, and more even more than even that, i would like to be first at something upon the last planet that no one else would ever think to be first at, on the last and eighth planet.

Still, i predict A Plague of Lighthouse Keepers, on Neptune. Someday.