Uncharacteristics

There are three or four uncharacteristic things that i have been pondering about doing, lately. Since i am tired of working, i will list them here.

Number one, and most important:

Consider tracking down the full and detailed recipe for pizza, by the nowadays defunct Marlene's Sub Shop, who made the best pizza in the universe from 1981 through 1997. The highlights of my high school lunches, which usually consisted of a bag of Doritos and a Hawaiian Punch, were the Mondays when Adam would foolishly hand over his cold Sunday Marlene's pizza slices, and would not even ask for sexual favours in return. Amazing!

Details are yet to be determined, but chances are that the owner of the recipe is a Medina resident, which means that their standards of living are comparable to those of a third-world country, meaning that i could nab the recipe for maybe ten dollars and fifty cents.

After obtaining the sacred recipe, i would either simply make myself a Marlene's pizza every day for the rest of my life, or else i would consider opening an establishment where i would direct the manufacture and peddling of these unique pies. The name of the establishment would somehow subsume the words "pizza", "orgasm", "greasy", and "tim's". Such as: "Tim's greasy pizza orgasm", which would definitely make folks want to come in and buy my pizzas.

Marlene's pizzas are fantastical, because the cheese is at least three times thicker than the crust. In the most prized specimens, it is four times thicker. The crusts are soft and succulent where they have been endowed with tomato sauce, and delightfully floury and firm on the bottoms, and the circumference crust is a sizable roll of the finest bakery-fresh bread, giving a positive topography to the fingers as they gaze into the valley of cheese and pepperoni below. The circumference crust has a pleasant shell, with very soft bread in the middle which can melt in the mouth.

The cheese is hard to explain. I am sure that it is some sort of mozzarella, but it is quite firm and almost rubbery, in the cooked form. This is not gross, it is delightful. There are solidified bubbles and nooks and crannies in the cross-sections of the mozzarella, if you were to perform a biopsy. As mentioned before, the cheese is always the thickest part of the interior pizza, rivalled only by the circumference crusts, which forms a very thickly-rolled border, i went over this before didn't i? Anyways i guess the cheese isn't all that different from any other cheese on pizzas, it's just that it is goddamn thick, alright?

The pepperoni is just wide and thinly sliced, nothing special i guess.

Anyways, i am tired of describing pizza, and i probably won't buy the recipe or ever taste Marlene's Sub Shop pizza ever again as long as i live, which is very depressing.


I forgot the other things that i was pondering about, but i think one of them had to do with becoming a singer for a Radiohead cover band. And once the cover band became wildly successful, i would quit my job and we would tour and make one thousand dollars per week split four ways, which isn't so bad, and i would live a life on the road that was different from what i did before, and i would get neurotic about it and then later i would write a book about how i was a Thom Yorke mimic and i was a social outcast and nothing seemed quite correct about anyone in the world or anything and how i would constantly be having panic attacks and downing medication and not feeling sorry for myself as a strategy for garnering selfpity in a subvertive sort of fashion, which is the highbrowest way to go about doing all that. But i guess i would start it all off with an ad, so that is what i just did.

Maybe the third thing i was pondering about was something about how i would like to go to Bills and Sabres games this year, fuck the Leafs.