Pre-autumnal requiem

There are tones generated in the distance, when it is autumn and the voices have all gone to insides, finally. Summer is such a filthy noise. Now, there is the drone of tires against asphalt in the distance, other indiscernable hums, maybe HVAC units, far away.

In the winter, there used to be the darkness at 7:30Pm, pitch black, being outside in the snow, and the wind would play the television antenna like an instrument, like an eerie soft saw. Only the wind through dead branches, and that antenna hum, and it was very hyponitizing. And then the shock of the motor kicking in, when mom or dad wanted to watch channel 7, channel 4, channel 2, channel 29. Back to hypnotized.

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On Thursday, i was supposed to see DrM. DrM is like Doogie Howser, except a little older. Although i guess that he is a lot older, now. He would always be taking verbal notes onto his hand held tape recorder as you told him things. "Seeing Timothy. Timothy is experiencing gastroesophageal reflux. Will prescribe Zantac, 20 milligrams."

But conditions must need to be dire, to see DrM anymore. Instead, a very young and well-dressed woman attended to me. She was just like a lead nurse practitioner in a hit television series, because she was Hollywood attractive. She corrected me when i said "Micturition Syncope" with a silent 'e'. It is a long 'e'. Sin-coe-peeeee. How fitting.

I was very relieved when we got to the end of the appointment and there were no fingers on the penis or up the rectum. That stuff is always such a drag. I did manage to obtain thirty Alprazolam tablets, which will help to bring a somnolence to my meager constitution.

Acid reflux and anxiety are my only problems, which isn't so bad. Or maybe, the acid reflux is also due to my anxiety. I am having less problems all of the time.

Also, i had not had a tetanus shot since 1992, so i got one of those. And a shot for Hepatitus B, i guess because of all the tatts i am known for getting, and all of the promiscuous sex that i have. That one is still hurting my tiny bicep.

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I have been selling off things, and getting rid of clothes. Usually, i dump clothes into Salvation Army bins, but this time around i decided to try to sell them on eBay. So far, i have paid forty dollars in order to sell my things on eBay, because my clothes go for $2, and i charge only $8 for shipping, even though the cheapest rate for shipping a box to anywhere is sixteen dollars. Capitalism is ruining me.

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I am making plans to get The Linus back. The Linus and i have been separated for over three years. It was because i was always on the move, never home. And then because transporting The Linus would be complicated. And then the mystery of getting The Linus across international borders.

But it turns out that i only need a rabies certificate to get The Linus into Canada. The Linus has had it too good for too long. It is time to make The Linus miserable again, by forcing him to cohabitate with me.

Linus tends to cower, once he breaks the threshold of a front door, and there is no longer any ceiling sheltering him from the vast skyness. It is such a symbolic anxiety. I will share some of my Alprazolams with Linus, if the sky gets to be too oppressive.

I have assembled a grappling hook, and a special knife for cutting holes out of windows, and a black ninja suit, and these are the things that i will use to infiltrate the house and retrieve Linus. Or i guess i could just call ahead and say that i am going to take Linus, and my folks will put him in a crate three hours too early, and put a bow on it, and have it all in the driveway, waiting, ready for when i arrived.

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I am so unbelievably tired.

I am going very far away for an adventure in four months. But i guess there will just be a lot of sleeping and work and rock concerts for the meantime.