Kitchen counter daytimes

I forgot that Linus only has one mischief related to food, and that is bread. Linus is crazed for the bread.

I have had half of a loaf of Italian bread zipped into a tidy bag, and i have toast or something every night, because a monstrous loaf of italian bread is $1.69 and feeds me for a week, except that now that Linus is around, i notice shredded holes in the bag, and gnaw marks on the bread, which means i cannot bring myself to eat the rest of the bread, which means my cost per dinner amount is soaring way past $0.25.

Which means that now i have to purchase a breadbox which is shaped like a griffin or evil dragon, which would guard my breads while i am away at work, and screams like Cthulhu at Linus when he is getting brave.

I imagine that the only places that i will be able to purchase such a breadbox, which is shaped like an inhibiting creature and also makes utterances like disturbing creatures, are in hard-to-find mythological places tucked into the Himalayas, which would require months of adventure and travesty, and by the time i get back Linus will have eaten all of the bread, so maybe i should just put the bread in the fucking cupboard or something.