How the world is not like your oyster

It is more possible to be as weird as i prefer with youngsters around.

Dave S. is seventeen, and is working with us for the summer. He goes on the lunchwalks with us highly-paid pillars of careerism.

Yesterday Dave was speaking of how he had broken up with a girlfriend, but that he felt that his prospects for procuring a new girlfriend were vast and plentifull.

Dave: "The world is my oyster, Tim.."

Tim: "I know that a lot of people like to say 'The world is my oyster', but actually the world is much more like a clam."

Dave: "Oh, really?"

Tim: "Yes. The world is like a clam. And the clam is inside of a whale."

Dave: "A Whale?"

Tim: "Yes. The world is more like a clam inside of a whale, than it is like an oyster. And also, the whale is beached, and is dying."

Dave: "So the world is like a clam inside of a beached, rotting whale?"

Tim: "I did not say rotting, i said dying. And children are poking it with sticks, and its breath is more and more shallow. Oh and also, there is a leaking oil tanker offshore, and the captain's mother wishes that he were never born."

Dave: "You're weird."

Tim: "THAT is what the world is like, young Dave. I know it all seems very melodramatic, but it is true. Oh also, the world is not your clam unless you are willing to tear through the flesh of the dying whale to claim it. You heartless fucking bastard."

I did not consider that Dave would be one to have vast and plentifull dating prospects, because he is very seventeen, and also momentarily ruined with acne. But i could be wrong about this sort of thing.