Calamity Jane, Part Two

Anxieties are becoming a big big verybig problem for me once again, for not any particular reason whatsoever, perhaps. Or i think that i am much healthier when i am having some social interaction everyday, even though i have never considered myself very social. But without the social interaction, i will get extremely restless. The restlessness can get to be excrutiating, and i absolutely have no idea what the fuck to do with myself. Reading books is no match for it. Deadwood on dvd is, but there are only so many of those.

So today i decided to go into Toronto, to sort of stroll around aimlessly and give myself a parade of stimuli to offer distraction. It was a good day for it, because today it was sort of chilly (for August) and overcast, and breezy, and the whole city and everyone in it was seeming pensive.

I began recognizing the shopfronts and sidewalk nuances as i walked down College street. Chad and i had conquered a vast rectangle's worth of the downtown area many years ago, when we spent a weekend in Toronto, watching Sarah Slean perform by night, walking around endlessly during the days. We were with Adam L., who was an acquaintance of an internet friend. Chad and i tormented him relentlessly the entire time, feigning homosexuality, which we were quick to discover made him very uncomfortable. And i say it was our relentlessness which is directly responsible for making Adam L. the happy, laid-back bisexual that he is today. Hooray for teenage psychology!

So my strolling today was only an adequate distraction, the record store i found was slightly better, but oh so much bad news for my wallet. There is a big difference between dusty dirty old records for three dollars, and brand new shrinkwrapped records for twenty-five. As it turns out. So.

It was probably also my anxieties which had prompted me to take the shameful way out of aloneness and put an ad up on craigslist. The ad was promptly ignored by 99.999% of the Toronto readership, which i sort of expected, because i am weird, but i think it was clever enough to fetch one or two potentially good friends, which i am happy about, and so all hope is not lost, as far as searching for people on similar wavelengths. I am supposed to have a low-key coffee date next saturday, and so i can count on saturday as a low-anxiety day, i think, because i will be able to interact with another human being for at least a little while. And then we are going to go record shopping. I think the wallet will still be a bit sore, but i will buck up like a good chap..

--

I have found that i enjoy, to a great degree, the application of Queen Helene's Mint Julep face concoction. So fucking what?? It makes my skin feel very taught, and also baby smooth.

..

Okay, i might be concerningly feminine, but at least i have a good sense of humour about it.

--

My last news is that yesterday i saw the absolute best movie i have seen in a very very very long time, and it is called "Little Miss Sunshine". Everyone NEEDS to see it. It is hilarious and also touching. It is about an irreparably damaged american family, which is cliche, except that this american family has an adventure which results in redemptions. Lasso your significant others, and go to the movie theatre, or go by yourself, because it is excellent for avoiding aloneness anxiety. True dat.

--

Anxieties are also probably good for losing flesh mass, since i have only had a muffin, a bag of popcorn, a small breakfast plate from Dickens, and five crackers, over the past two days, and i don't think i have the energy to ingest anything more.

--

Why do all of my very good friends live so fucking far away?