The Star Wars Dialogue, May 2005!

For posterity, the Miles & Miller (tm) technical critiques shall be placed here:

point #1 - the darth vader suit:
"yeah, the 'NOOO!' was so comic book that it was comical. it was also funny how [Darth Vader] took no time to survey himself after coming to. like, 'oh, i have a big black suit on now, and assisted breathing, and everything i see is in digital red. fuck me runnin''" - T.M.

"I think that's what the whole Frankenstein stomping bit was about, him trying to figure out how to walk on mechanical legs. Aside from the stomp itself and the "noooo" bit, I thought that was really really well done, and the mask coming down over his face was damn near tragic." - A.M.


point #2 - the lavafight:
"you don't hover that close to fucking lava without bursting into flames. not to mention there would be no breathable atmosphere on that entire planet, only poisonous fumes. anakin and obi-wan should have both been incinerated five minutes into that fight." - T.M.

"Well for most of it, they were inside that invisible shield thingy. But
yeah, when they were bobbing on the floating debris in the lava, they should have both burned to a crisp." - A.M.


point #3 - aural space:
"you do not hear sounds in space. but i'll let that slide because hollywood has been doing that from the beginning. except for 2001." - T.M.

"Yep, though at the beginning, I think technically they were in the outer atmosphere of Coruscant." - A.M.

[Geek! Besides, without a dense atmosphere, sound will not travel. Ha! - T.M.]


point #4 - childbirth & broken heartss:
"don't women in childbirth who die, typically die before or during, and NOT after, the babies are born? oh, that's right... she died of a BROKEN HEART. heh..." - T.M.

"[...] it is entirely possible to die after the babies are out. I'm guessing Padme either bled out or died from sheer exhaustion, coupled with the force choke thing. Oh yeah, and the broken heart (meh)" - A.M.

[Conclusion - droid midwives are a bad idea. - T.M.]


point #5 - ultimate bipolar disorder:
"guys like anakin do not go from moral example of society to murderer of children without a fuck of a lot more downward spiraling. [Totally unconvincing turn to the dark side.]" - T.M.

"Yeah, that's a bit much, though if I thought slaying a few kids might
prevent my wife from dying, I'd consider it..." - A.M. (the sweetest husband comment ever!)


point #6 - the most important point of all:
"luke's aunt has BLACK HAIR! [Unforgiveable]" - T.M.

"Maybe she went gray and then got a bad dye-job. OK, so that one is indefensible... Blonde Aunt Beru is pretty cute in the prequels though..." - A.M.


bonus point! - General Grievous? What kind of a name for a general is that?!:

"General Grievous was as bad as Jar Jar Binks. I think they could have had something with that if they hadn't made him all wheezy and stuporous at the beginning, and if they'd used Gary Oldman's voice (as originally rumored, and yes, I'm enough of a geek to the point where I heard that rumor on both theforce.net and millenniumfalcon.com) instead of Mr. Scooby Doo Villian or whomever it was who ended up doing the voice." - A.M.

"I think SKELETOR did the GG voice. I'm pretty sure." - T.M.


additional bonus bonus point! - incessant sinister cackles of evil:

"And Palpatine Sith, or whoever, with that totally cliche cackling and laughing all through his fight with Yoda, and all of his other scenes. It's like he has a nervous disorder when a confrontation ensues, and so he laughs uncontrollably. (His Indian name? Cackles When Confronted.) Even whilst hanging by his fingernails from a Senatorial podium (the most un-safe Senate auditorium EVER, by the way!). I would expect all of this sinister laughing from Cobra Commander. But in a movie presumably geared towards those of us over the age of twelve? I mean, c'mon." - T.M.