Flux capacitance

I wanted to document that today is the first day that I feel better instead of worse. I feel alive instead of barely. I feel energy instead of drainage.

I actually feel rested. Even though I have a cold, right now I feel more like a human being than I have in months.

I think it had a lot to do with taking just enough melatonin and xanax last night so as not to overdose. And then I slept for thirteen hours straight. And I had three-dimensional dreams, wherein I thought that I was half-awake and manipulating a dreamy storyline, making my dream-me talk in an eloquent, Shakespearian-prose, uttering heavenly bits of poetry, my half-awake me thinking that I really must remember to write all of this down as soon as I woke up.

And then realizing that there was no half-awake me, when I really did wake up at 11:30 AM. Hence the three-dimensions. Or three-tiers. Or maybe that's two-tiers, as far as dreams go. With one-tiered being the standard. Anyway, it was absolutely the most surreal and difficult-to-explain thing that's happened to me in sleep in far too long.

All day, thinking to myself. "Wow. I am not tired and rundown. I do not need a nap. I can think, and then act accordingly. I am not a zombie, today. I am a human being."

I am a human being. This is great news.

I don't know what chronic fatigue syndrome is, but I'll bet it's saying "Aww, shucks..." right about now.

Now, if I can only find a way to discover my spiritual enlightenment and my libido, I will be completely fulfilled.