Thinksickness

I guess that I am prone to panic attacks in movie theatres. I almost passed out yesterday while trying to watch the Manchurian Candidate with my parents. I would start to yawn incessantly, one after another, and my skin goes cold and clammy, and I am fidgeting nervously, and I have cold sweats, and I am lightheaded, and not thinking clearly, like being too drunk, and I feel queazy, like one switch away from throwing up.

I think that maybe I am claustrophobic. Or some other subtler phobia.

The last time that I remember was when I saw "The Ring" with Nora and Lindsay, and I just assumed that I was scared sick. Maybe I was.

But the Manchurian Candidate wasn't that scary.

Also, there was the time I was out at a bar with Jeff and his friends. And we all had to assume I was too-drunk off of two Budweisers. I had to go sit down in a Main Street shoppe doorway, with the Wellsville police force giving me looks as they drove by.

And there was the time in fifth grade chorus practice that I stumbled out of the second row tenors and interrupted a teacher for the first time ever, so I could ask to go to the nurse's office, and my vision was fading out in a yellow haze on the way, and I almost fell over.

All of these places were crowded. Although I've been in lots and lots of other crowded places with no problems.

So maybe it is a combination of factors.

Like how I'd had nothing but pancakes and an ice-cream sundae to eat yesterday, before the movie. A mal-nutrified brain. I don't know..

Also, I am always very very tired lately. There isn't a part of the day where I don't feel like taking a nap. Maybe that has something to do with it.

I don't want to get on a plane in a few hours. I want to get on a bed. A bed in a chilled room, with thick blankets and thick pillows. And fat napping cats. And the slightest scent of cinnamon. I don't know why the cinnamon.

Oh, pillowss..